A Legend Exits

When an Elder in Yoruba asks to pray for you , such elder wishes you Good health , Wealth and Respect . You say Amen and proceed on your venture .  However a key prayer that never misses the mouth of an elder is " Ise e o ni di Ise mo e lowo " , which loosely translates to " May your job not turn into poverty in your hands " . What that prayer means may you not be like the proverbial aparo .

Few days ago I awoke to the news that Baba Sala ( Moses Olaiya) has joined the saints . A lot of youths born today might not know about this Legend,  I dare say chances are if you were born in the 90's your knowledge of him might be scrappy at best . He was a comedian extraordinaire and if wealth are to be measured by talent and dedication in nurturing such talent , Baba Sala would have been a Billionaire ten times over . How he was betrayed by a friend who sold his  movie ( Orun moru ) back then to Pirates before its official release is a story for another day . He never fully recovered from that setback . It is arguable to say that movie would have brought about the dollar rain his sweat fully deserved .

However Baba Lived up till the ripe Old age of 82 , its just right he left this world in his hometown where he was born , May the Lord grant him eternal rest . As for those of us left behind , May we learn to number our days and apply wisdom in all we do , may enemies disguised as friends be far from us and " Ise wa o ni di ise mo wa lowo" .

Chronicles of Chiefo

So I saw Chiefo last weekend when he came around , man was unusually nice , even bought me a bottle of Trophy and asked me to take care of myself ....I was feeling good but I should have known it was a setup 🤔.

Phone rings yesterday :

ME: Chief Chief the Esteemed Gbogbaniyi of OdoOro Ekiti .

CHIEF: Teyu Teyu e kasan sir , ise ati Ile nko

ME: A kuku ti ,o ma da , ki lon happen

CHIEF : Kosi much, meanwhile how far osu ti pari, outstanding ti di 2 months

ME: Daddy e ma gbeyen wa ooo ...no tata for yanyan

CHIEF : O ti fe ga mi..iwo ti otiwa online , o tun ge fila

ME: ta lo so yen fun yin , mo ti block yin lori WhatsApp na

CHIEF : iwo lo block mi , Olorun o block mi ..Aye lo bami iwo Omo yi ..o mo wipe eti Oba nile , eti Oba loko.

ME: Chief e fin yen le ..mi o carry ooo

CHIEF : Gbogbo oyinbo ti ohun so ni reunion yin I paid your fees to that school so Ola Olorun ati Olami loun je .mo tun so owo school OSU to lo ..ki a ma so pocket money ti o gba to fin ma an ko Obinrin nigba yen.

ME : Haha Baba yi ewo ni life history bayi , anyways ti o ba yo , ma settle yin

CHIEF : Banjo ma gbe yen wa, Wa Adura ni ki o gba lenu ni arugbo mi ooo , next week ni mo fun e da .. it's not until I die you would now be killing cows for my burial , je kin gbadun bi mo se wa laye , ti mo ba lo ibi Agba 're..eyi to ba wu yin ni ki e se...By d way o mo wipe credit mi ni mo fi pe, reimburse me bi mo base drop ... Odabo ki ile ooo ... * cuts call 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂... mo ma block line man yi last last 😃😃😃😃

Worst Encounter with The Police

I dread the Nigeria Police Force cos no matter how legit u are , won le so nkan si e lese at any fcuking time .
It was the year 2005 , was still in OOU while my Cousin was in Unilag , cuz had a car , tinted ...on that fateful day we went to chill at Sabo with his friend and some guys , as gist dey go na so booze dey flow join ..cuz was still a Guinness ambassador while I was a star boy ( word of advice , beware of those chilled beers , u go drink 5,6,7 u no go know ) ... as the booze don enter body , na so the ginger , we were discussing world politics and my cuz was behind me , I just dey quote foreign constitution like UN secretary general , na so my cuz dey look me with pride say kaare  "Omo Obokun"... at close to 12 midnight we gbera for home
.smooth ride listening to Nelly's first album dey nod head , got home safely..na there wahala start.
Gate was locked , so we parked , got out and proceeded to knock silently , before u know it Na so Police van park..5 cops came out while one was at d driver seat ..introduce urself , small thing I commot my school ID, bouda Yemi oya nw where ur own na " Oga I no get ID card " ...Ha ID card way i dey look for dashboard ... next thing Okay let's see your car papers... Cuz say na " I no get papers for this " , haha see wahala , papers way dey pigeon hole ...
They search me , time reach to search cuz , " make una no touch me " ...empties pocket....they want to search d car , na so d wehre boy lock d car , go meet the cop at d driver's seat .." Ik (not real name )  you wan say u no sabi us and say na our house be this abi , u dey craze ...😯 Gobe.
Squad leader now said " let's go to the station ...
Cuz : I am not going anywhere
Me : what is our offence sir ( I am a man of peace)
My Cuz just dey para ..4 of them proceeded to push him inside d van , people of God  see royal rumble , tried as they could ,cuz hold d door , the 4 of them were hitting him with their guns but d guy no gree let go , I tried guiding him, Omo when d gun hit me for shoulder , I look am say we die here... 5th officer hold me for trouser, the one inside van don dey radio for back up say they are trying to apprehend robbery suspects .... robbery ke , ki la gbe ki le ju...instantly I pictured both of us in a cell and d image I was seeing no nice at all ....ijafara lewu Kia I wriggled free from d man holding me and used all my strenght to bang the gate ...all d while 4 of them still dey battle to put my Cuz for inside van, small time I see cuz for floor dey shout " I no dey go anywhere, una go kill person today " , i look am say abi wehre leleyi ni , kill bawo ... Luckily my Uncle came out with an Assistant Commissioner of Police who came visiting...O boy e be like say i see Jesus ... at about that time sef the IG of Police was on Uncle's speed dial .... As Uncle and ACP dey follow d men talk , cuz proceeded to hit d cop at the steering ...anoda walaha d cop came out and said Cuz was threatening him, ....Everything was settled sha

Till today I still dey thank God say d wehre boy no make dem carry us go cell ...

Moral of the story : Don't argue with a man holding a gun and drink responsibly

Gunpowder

Few people won't return home today cos they were killed in a totally avoidable accident on Ojuelegba bridge....barriers were put on that bridge to prevent trucks but our people removed it... it's time we hold ourselves to same standard we expect from the government...that aside sef when was the last time LASG did a stress test on aĺl it's bridges particularly Ojuelegba and Carter Bridge, even CMS sef...word of advice : anytime u are on that bridge, just pray to whatever God u serve oooo cos eyan le soda at any time ni eko ati ilu yi gan 😔😔😔

Bitterness

I recently watched a short video where a woman was encouraging her son to insult his father who is a music artiste ( though his stock seems to have fallen ) due to what I suspect is cos of issues she has with the Man. 
How u can be so bitter you drag your own son into the matter you might have with his father is something I still can't comprehend, shey won ko ifun yin lo ni Kekere ni abi e jabo lori eyin mummy yin ....when you were raising leg up doing ya yo ya with the guy , u didn't know ... u have now dragged the poor boy into the matter , silently damaging his psyche and he grows up being bitter ...Congratulations you have won the best mum of the year award..... Una go learn sha .... oshi labule 😔😔😔

Chronicles Of Chiefo

Two Days Ago,
Phone rings , I pick bracing for impact :

Chief : Big head how are you doing today
Me : I am fine ooo , we just dey look God face
Chief : O ma ku da
Me : Amen
Chief : Meanwhile I am coming to Lagos this week , so send me money to transport myself
Me : Ewo e ma gbe yen wa , emi gan need help ...no tata for yanyan
Chief : Ko le baje ko ma ku Dansaki , send something to your Old boy
Me : Chief walahi emi gan manage ni
Chief : Omotayo I would call you tomorrow with my account number , Good night .

Today ,
SMS enters : Tayo anytime I discuss with you , you always play it down , I am really surprised bcos I dont expect such from you .

😅😅😅na today ,me way don ready for anything .

Phone rings one hour later ,

Chief : Mi o ba e seere send owo si mi , adura kan wa lenu mi leni , tewo gba adura iwo omo yi
Me :  Daddy e fi mi le , mo ni ko yo
Chief : Se Omoluwabi iwo omo yi , drops call

SMS enters : omo chief, how far,am still waiting. Send something to take me to Lagos, when there the nerdiest will happen.

This man sha😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣

Chronicles of Chiefo

Phone rings , check who is calling , take a deep breathe and pick:

Chief : My Son how are u ?
Me : Fine
Chief : How is work and Lagos ?
Me : Everything is fine sir
Chief now starts an array of prayers , I am sayn Amen with caution , finally
Chief : Hope you are not being owed salaries .
Me : Chiefo I dey find money sef , u wan raise me
Chief : Ori e , dahun Ibeere mi
Me : Ko ti yo ooo
Chief : Mo kan ni kin ke e ni
Me : Ese sir
Chief : ma pe e next week hopefully a ti yo nigba yen ..oro wa
Me : Daddy e je ki a soro nisi yi
Chief : Makanju, next week ti de tan Odabo
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂.... bracing for impact